Blonde Joke

[SamLBInj]

[ QUOTE ]
I was thinking the same thing, LOL!

[/ QUOTE ] Me too, here another one...
These two Ford owners wanted to change the old saying of "You can take a horse to water but you cant make him drink", So they stole ther neighbors horse and took him down to the pond to make him drink..When they got there old Billy Bob said to John Boy, "Ok John Boy, you suck on his Butt and Ill hold his head under water and well make him drink." So after 15 minutes of sucking on this horses butt old John Boy yells down to Billy Bob , "Hey Billy Bob, lift his head a little all im gettin is mud"!
Sam

[MrsBillyBobcat]

Here's another "blonde joke"


A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named "Rolex" and one was named "Timex".

Her friend asked, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"HelllOOOooo" , answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"

[Born30YrsLate]

And here's one for you guys in Iowa.....
IOWA BLONDE A young blonde woman in East Dubuque, Illinois was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the Mississippi River. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the dock, crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for." I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day.."
Moving closer, he slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy." The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning. That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. >From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn. Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain. "What are you doing here?" the captain asked. I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to Europe, and he's screwing me." "He certainly is," the captain said. "This is the Diamond Joe Casino, and we never leave Dubuque, Iowa."

[moparts]

Guy walks into the bar and orders a shot of whisky.
Man I have had the worst day, he tells the bartender.
I just found out my brother is gay.

Next day walks into the same bar and orders 2 shots.
Bartender says I guess today is worse than yesterday?
Yes it is I just found out my father is gay too.

Third day he walks into the same bar and orders a shot and tells the bartender to leave the bottle.
Bartender says whats the deal doesn't anyone in your family like women. Yes says the guy......MY WIFE!!!!!!!!

[Eddie M.]

THE DONKEY
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into the well.The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.Finally he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway,it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They each grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.AT first the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.Then to everyone's amazement he quieted down.A few shovel loads later the farmer looked down the well and was astonished at what he saw.As every shovel of dirt hit his back the donkey would shake it off and take a step up.As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal he would shake it off and take a step up.Pretty soon everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off.
The Moral:
Life is going to shovel dirt on you,all kinds of dirt.The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.Each of our troubles is a stepping stone.We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping,never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up!
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1.Free your heart from hatred.
2.Free your mind from worries.
3.Live simple.
4.Give more.
5.Expect less.
O.K.,that's enough of that crap....The donkey later came back,caught the farmer out in the field and kicked the [censored] out of him.Then he went over to each of his neighbours farms and kicked the [censored] out of them too for helping.
The REAL Moral:
When you try to cover your ass,it ALWAYS comes back to get you.