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#1
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Tom...too funny. I've seen them before...but they are always good for a laugh!
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Bruce Choose Life-Donate! |
#2
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![]() ![]() SMILE!!! Do you know what happened this week back in 1850, 158 years ago? California became a state. The State had no electricity. The State had no money. Almost everyone spoke Spanish. There were gunfights in the streets. So basically, it was just like California today; except the women had real breasts and the men didn't hold hands.
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#3
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<font color="blue">... one more ... </font>
> *Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot,** > Before the days of Dylan, or the dawn of Camelot. > There lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me, > > For Ike was in the White House in that land where we were born, > Where navels were for oranges, and Peyton Place was porn. > > We learned to gut a muffler, we washed our hair at dawn, > We spread our crinolines to dry in circles on the lawn. > > We longed for love and romance, and waited for our Prince, > And Eddie Fisher married Liz, and no one's seen him since. > > We danced to 'Little Darlin,' and sang to 'Stagger Lee' > And cried for Buddy Holly in the Land That Made Me Me. > > Only girls wore earrings then, and 3 was one too many, > And only boys wore flat-top cuts, except for Jean McKinney. > > And only in our wildest dreams did we expect to seeA boy named George with > Lipstick, in the Land That Made Me Me. > > We fell for Frankie Avalon, Annette was oh, so nice, > And when they made a movie, they never made it twice. > > We didn't have a Star Trek Five, or Psycho Two and Three, > Or Rocky-Rambo Twenty in the Land That Made Me Me. > > Miss Kitty had a heart of gold, and Chester had a limp, > And Reagan was a Democrat whose co-star was a chimp. > > We had a Mr. Wizard, but not a Mr. T , > And Oprah couldn't talk, yet, in the Land That Made Me Me. > > We had our share of heroes, we never thought they'd go, > At least not Bobby Darin, or Marilyn Monroe. > > For youth was still eternal, and life was yet to be, > And Elvis was forever in the Land That Made Me Me. > > We'd never seen the rock band that was Grateful to be Dead, > And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson, and Zeppelins were not Led. > > And Beatles lived in gardens then, a nd Monkees lived in trees, > Madonna was a virgin in the Land That Made Me Me. > > We'd never heard of microwaves, or telephones in cars, > And babies might be bottle-fed, but they weren't grown in jars. > > And pumping iron got wrinkles out, and 'gay' meant fancy-free, > And dorms were never coed in the Land That Made Me Me. > * > *We hadn't seen enough of jets to talk about the lag, > And microchips were what was left at the bottom of the bag. > > And Hardware was a box of nails, and bytes came from a flea, > And rocket ships were fiction in the Land That Made Me Me. > > Buicks came with portholes, and side shows came with freaks, > And bathing suits came big enough to cover both your cheeks. > > And Coke came just in bottles, and skirts below the knee, > And Castro came to power near the Land That Made Me Me. > > We had no Crest with Fluoride, we had no Hill Street Blues, > We had no patterned pantyhose or Lipton herbal tea > Or prime-time ads for condoms in the Land That Made Me Me. > > There were no golden arches, no Perrier to chill, > And fish were not called Wanda, and cats were not called Bill. > > And middle-aged was 35 and old was forty-three, > And ancient were our parents in the Land That Made Me Me. > > But all things have a season, or so we've heard them say, > And now instead of Maybelline we swear by Retin-A. > > They send us invitations to join AARP, > We've come a long way, baby, from the Land That Made Me Me. > > So now we face a brave new world in slightly larger jeans, > And wonder why they're using smaller print in magazines. > And we tell our children's children of the way it used to be, > Long ago and far away in the Land That Made Me Me.
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Mike Fabian ![]() |
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