Todays "New Math" - OMG!

[x Baldwin Motion]

MATH TEACHER ARRESTED.

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F.
Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a
flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set
square, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning
press conference, the Attorney General said he believes
the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He
did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI
with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a problem for us," the Attorney
General said. "They desire solutions by means and
extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of
absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x'
and 'y' and refer to themselves as
'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong to a
common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates
in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used
to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle.'
When asked to comment on the arrest, The President said, "If God had wanted us to have better
Weapons of Math Instruction, He would have given us more
fingers............and toes."

White House aides told reporters they could not recall a
more intelligent or profound statement by the President.