The parrot

[x Baldwin Motion]

An old man was sitting on a bench in the mall when a young man with spiked hair came over and sat down beside him. The boy's hair was yellow and green and orange and purple. He had black makeup around his eyes. The old man just stared at him. The boy said, "What's the matter, old man, haven't you ever done anything wild in your life?" The old man answered, "Well yes, actually, I have. I once got drunk and slept with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son."

[Eddie M.]

man and woman get married, in the honeymoon suite that nite the husband takes his pants off and hands them to his wife and tells her to try them on well she gets them on and turns to the husband and says these pants are way to big for me the husband smiles yeah he says and don't you forget it I wear the pants in this family so the wife takes her pants off and hands them to the husband and says here try these on well after about 5 mins the husband turns to the wife and says I can't get into them the wife smiles yeah and don't you ever forget it

[Mr70]

A little boy walks by his single mothers bedroom one night,and sees her on the bed pleasuring herself screaming.."I need a man!..I need a man!"
A few nights later after dinner,the doorbell rings and his mother opens the door to introduce her son to her newly found boyfriend.
The little boy jumps from the dining room table,runs into his bedroom,jumps up on his bed,pulls down his pants & starts pleasuring himself all while screaming.."I need a bike!..I need a bike!

[John Brown]

The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blond
cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun, and
his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking
him up, he asks "Why in the world are you dressed like this?"

"Well it's like this Sheriff. I was in the bar down the road and this
pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her.
So I did.
We go inside and she pulls off her top and tells me to pull off my shirt.
So I did.
Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants.
So I did.
Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts.
So I did.
Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, "Now go to town cowboy... ".

So, here I am."

[Fast67VelleN2O]

^^^ LOL thats a good one

[70 Forest Green Zee]

A man returns home after a day on the golf course, throws open the back door, slams his clubs down in the corner and slaps his wife accross the face so hard that it left his hand print on her cheek. Then he heads towards the fridge to get a beer and his wife says " what did you do that for? I've done nothing wrong!" The man replied " I'm hitting everything fat today! "

[gearheadmex]

A couple are celebrating their 15 year wedding anniversary. They go out for a nice dinner and have drinks by a roaring fire. They go home and make love for hours. About four in the morning the wife wakes up to discover her husband is not in bed. Concerned, she searches the house and finds him sitting at the kitchen table, head in his hands, crying like a baby. She asks him what is wrong. He says, remember when your father caught us having sex in the back seat of your car and you ended up pregnant, and your father said it was either marry you or go to jail? The wife says, yes but it all worked out. The husband replies....................
Yes, but I would have gotten out of jail TODAY!!!!!!!!