Joke

[jus4funn68]

Watchit on that last one....it's a proven fact that 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name!

[jus4funn68]

A 90 yr old man goes to the doctor for a check up and begins by telling the doctor"Ive never felt better in my life...I jog over a mile every day,I wash my own cars every week,I have a new bride 28 yrs old and guess what else ...she's gonna have my baby!! What do you think about that?" The doctor ponders for a moment and ask the old man "If you got up early one morning to go hunting and reached in the closet to get your rifle; instead accidently grabbed your umbrella with out noticing and went hunting anyway, and you saw large mountain lion coming down a trail...you raised your gun to shoot and when you pulled the trigger and the umbrella opened. When you looked over the umberlla and saw that the lion was dead anyway...what would you think?" The old man then pondered a second and said " Id think somebody else shot the cat". The doctor looked over his glasses at the old man and said... "Exactly"

[toner]

My mother-in-law sent me this.

Eight words with different meanings
depending on one's gender...

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female......Any part under a car's hood.
Male.........The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female......Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.........Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female......The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male.........Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.......A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male.........Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female......A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male.........Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female......An Embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male.........A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female......The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male..........Call it whatever you want just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.......A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male...........A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

toner

[Belair62]

[John]

...What do you call the person who graduated
.....LAST IN THEIR CLASS AT MEDICAL COLLEGE?







...
...
...."Doctor"...

[Mr70]

While taking a Tour of the White House,A Blonde was introduced to the Secretary of the Interior.
The Blonde shook her hand and replied,"I just Love how you've decorated this Place!".
The Sad part is that this is a true story as it was Jessica Simpson who said it,as she was being Sincere...again.

[GRB]

The 99% figure has been updated and corrected to 99.99%.