joke

[Burd]

Originally Posted by Crush

Same here, maybe you need the “ special” membership ?!

I’m a Paid Yenko Joke Member. I guess it’s new.

[earntaz]

How to get to Heaven from Ireland

A true Story from an Irish Sunday School Teacher.

I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.

'I asked them, ' If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?'

'NO!' the children answered.

'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?'

Again, the answer was 'NO!'

'If I gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?'

Again, they all answered 'NO!'

I was just bursting with pride for them. I continued, 'Then how can I get into heaven?'

A little boy shouted out: 'YUV GOTTA BE FOOKN' DEAD.'

It's a curious race, the Irish.

Brings a tear to the eye, doesn't it?

[Burd]

I see it and I’m laughing. Good stuff.

[Burd]

If you send him a free nOS part once in a while, you also get to see the secret Yenko Gold board.

[mssl72]

Good one TAZ!!!

[earntaz]

A man with two buckets of fish was leaving boca chica beach well known for its fishing and was stopped by a game warden. The warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"

The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish."

"Pet fish?!" the warden replied.

"Yes, sir. Every night I take these fish down to this beach and let them swim around for about a half-hour, When I whistle, they all come back, jump back into my buckets, and I take 'em home. We do this every night."

"That's a bunch of BS," said the warden. "Fish can't do that!"

"No, really! says the man. "Here, I'll show you." And he releases the fish in the ocean.

"Well, I've GOT to see this!" the game warden replied.

The man and the warden stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, "Well?"

"Well, what?" the man asked.

"When are you going to call them back?" the game warden huffs.

"Call who back?" the man asked.

"The FISH."

"What fish?"

[campingdenial]

Q: What was the elephant doing on the freeway?
A: About 5 mph

Q: How do you get an elephant up a tree?
A: Plant an acorn. Have the elephant stand on top of where you planted it. Wait 50 years.

Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
A: “Look, a herd of elephants in the distance”

Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses
A: Nothing. He doesn’t recognize them.

Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in the distance?
A: “Haha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!”

Q. What is big, grey and has a lot of red bumps?
A. An elephant that was stung by a lot of bees!

Q. Why couldn’t the two elephants go swimming together?
A. Because they only had one pair of trunks!

Q. How do you know an elephant is under your blanket?
A. Because when you get in your bed your nose touches the ceiling.

Q. What do you get when an elephant sky dives?
A. A big hole.

and there are many many more. Elephant jokes are so stupid they never fail to crack me up.

[Lynn]

Why do elephants wear red tennis shoes?

So they can hide in the strawberry patch.

Why do elephants wear green tennis shoes?

Red ones are in the wash.

[Lee Stewart]

[Lee Stewart]