Dedicated to the Promotion and Preservation of American Muscle Cars, Dealer built Supercars and COPO cars. |
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#1
08-10-2019, 05:40 PM
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Sleeping with Bob
The guys were all at a deer camp -- no one wanted to room with Bob because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? He said, "Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night." The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful! He said, 'Man, that Bob shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night." The third night was Fred's turn. Fred was a tanned, older cowboy, a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it. They said, "Man, what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the butt and kissed him good night. Bob sat up and watched me all night."
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You've never lived until you've almost died -- for those who fight for it, life has a flavor the protected will never know! 
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#3
08-11-2019, 09:52 AM
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Why did I get divorced?
Well, last week was my birthday and my wife didn’t wish me a happy birthday in the morning before I went to work. My parents forgot too and so did my kids. I got into work and even my colleagues didn’t wish me a happy birthday. I was really sad because everyone had forgotten my birthday! But then as I walked into my office, my secretary smiled and said to me, “Happy birthday, boss!” Because everyone else had forgotten, I felt so special so when my secretary asked me if I wanted to go for lunch with her I jumped at the chance. After we’d eaten lunch, she invited me back to her apartment and again I jumped at the chance. When we got there, she asked, “Do you mind if I just go into the bedroom for a minute?” “No problem, I’ll just wait here,” I said. Five minutes later my secretary came back out of the bedroom with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, “SURPRISE!!!”… While I was waiting on the sofa… naked.
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#4
08-11-2019, 09:53 AM
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A woman walks into a pharmacy one day and says to the pharmacist, “I’d like a poison that’ll kill my husband but make it look like he died of natural causes.”
The pharmacist says, “Ma’am, not only can I not do that for you, I’m going to have to call the police and report you.” The woman takes out something out of her pocket and hands it to him. He looks at it and sees that it’s a picture of her husband having sex with the pharmacist’s wife. The pharmacist says, “Oh, you should have told me you had a prescription.”
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#5
08-12-2019, 07:51 PM
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#7
08-12-2019, 11:19 PM
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#9
08-26-2019, 10:22 PM
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#10
08-27-2019, 02:11 PM
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