joke

[earntaz]

HeHeHe -- good ones!

[Stefano]

I can't even believe that you would post such a sexist joke on this forum.

[Lynn]

I agree with Stefano. No place for that here.

So.... guy is walking down the beach, and finds a bottle. Picks it up, opens the top and out comes a Genie. Genie says he can have ONE wish. Guys says: "I thought I got three wishes." Nope, says the Genie, that's the Hollywood version; one wish, take it or leave it.

Guy thinks this over really hard. He had always wanted to go to Hawaii, but was deathly afraid of flying or traveling by boat. So, he says: "I want a highway from L.A. to Hawaii."

Genie starts back peddling. Are you kidding me? You have no idea what you are asking. That is huge. It will mess up shipping lanes, and the logistics are just crazy. Is there ANYTHING else I can give you?

Guy thinks for a minute, and says: "OK, I will let you off the hook, if you can tell me how a woman's mind works."

Wait for it....








Genie: "TWO LANE OR FOUR?"

[Craig_Maiorana]

[img]<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/haha.gif[/img] [img]<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/beers.gif[/img]

[Mr70]

.

[Xplantdad]

A man in Alberta wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough..there's an ad for &quot;Alberta Bear Removers.&quot;

He calls the number and the man says he'll be over in 30 minutes.
The bear remover arrives and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, 12-gauge shotgun, and a mean heavily scarred old pit bull.

&quot;What are you going to do?&quot; the homeowner asks.

&quot;I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and I’ll knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls
off the roof, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van.&quot;

He then hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

&quot;What's the shotgun for?&quot; asks the homeowner.

&quot;If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog.&quot;

[earntaz]

omg!!!!

[earntaz]

PEOPLE FROM THE SOUTH WILL UNDERSTAND THIS....

There was this fellow from Mississippi, driving down I-55 South who had a flat tire. He pulled off on the side of the road, jumped out of his car, walked down the hillside and picked a bunch of wildflowers, and proceeded to put one bouquet of the flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait....

A out of state traveler headed for New Orleans, studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he! turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied, &quot;I have a flat tarr.&quot;

In response the passerby asked, &quot;But what's with the flowers?&quot;

The man responded, &quot;When you break down, they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back! I never did understand it neither.&quot;

[Xplantdad]

Nice!

[Keith Seymore]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: earntaz</div><div class="ubbcode-body">PEOPLE FROM THE SOUTH WILL UNDERSTAND THIS....

There was this fellow from Mississippi, driving down I-55 South who had a flat tire. He pulled off on the side of the road, jumped out of his car, walked down the hillside and picked a bunch of wildflowers, and proceeded to put one bouquet of the flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait....

A out of state traveler headed for New Orleans, studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he! turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied, &quot;I have a flat tarr.&quot;

In response the passerby asked, &quot;But what's with the flowers?&quot;

The man responded, &quot;When you break down, they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back! I never did understand it neither.&quot;
</div></div>

My dad would haved like that one. He was from SE Missouri. He put &quot;tars&quot; on the car but the roadway was paved with &quot;tire&quot;.

I remember when one of my kids asked me: &quot;Daddy...why does Papaw say 'thank ya'?&quot;

K