Tuesday Joke

[x Baldwin Motion]

[ QUOTE ]
I thought we were DONE with this crap!!!

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there must be something in the water.

[SSJunkie68-69]

Here's one that does not cross the political line.....

Horse, a Chicken & a Harley


On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom were best friends
and loved to play together.
One day as the two were playing the horse fell into a bog and began to
sink.

Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the
farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he
searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail. The farmer had
gone to town with the only tractor.
Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley.
Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of
rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.
Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken
arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of
rope the chicken tossed to him.

After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's Harley,
the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful
bike, rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and
when the farmer returned he was none the wiser.
The friendship between the two animals was cemented forever: Best
Buddies, Best Pals.
A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit and soon began to
sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!
The horse thought a moment - then walked over and straddled the large
puddle.
Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab on to his unit and
then he would then lift him out of the pit.
The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out,
saving his life.
The moral of the story? (yep, you betcha, there's a moral!)

When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up
Chicks!

[Eddie M.]

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession.
Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do,and he didn't seem too concerned about it.
One day, while the boy was away at school, His father decided to try an experiment.
He went into the boy's room and placed on His study table four objects:
a Bible,
a silver dollar,
a bottle of whisky and
a Playboy magazine
I'll just hide behind the door," the old Preacher said to himself,"when he comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which object he picks up."
If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to! be a businessman, and that would be okay, too. But If he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunkard, and, Lord, what a shame that would be. And worst of all, if he picks up that magazine he's gonna be a skirt-chasing' bum."
The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room.
The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink while he admired this month's centerfold.
"Lord have mercy," the old preacher disgustedly whispered, "he's gonna run for Congress!"

[Mr70]

Zsa Zsa Gabor,sitting with a cat in her lap asks Johnny Carson if he would like to pet her Pussy....Carson replies,"OK..move the cat".
Hi Ohhhhhhh!

[Eddie M.]

LMAO good one Rick....what about the gal who's husband played golf and Johnny asked her what she did for her husband to have good luck her answer was kiss his balls I never did see that one but I guess Johnny was pretty much speechless

[rafbody]

I thought Johnny replied with "I bet that makes his putter flutter"