Joke

[Mr70]

Susan has a heart attack and is taken to hospital.
While on the operating table she has a near death experience,during which she sees God and asks if this is the end for her.
God says no and explains that she has another 30-40 years to live.
As soon as she had recovered,Susan figured that since she's got another 30 or 40 years,she might as well stay in the hospital and have the face-lift,liposuction,breast augmentation and tummy tuck that she had always promised herself.
So she did and she even changed the color of her hair.But tragedy struck some weeks later as Susan is leaving the hospital,she is knocked over and killed by a car.
When Susan arrives in front of God she asks,"HEY!....I thought you said I had another 30-40 years?"
God replies,"HEY!....I didn't recognize you."

['69Novajoe]

<span style="color: #3333FF"><span style="font-weight: bold">A four year old and six year old were in the backyard playing just before breakfast. The six year old says to the four year old, &quot;I think it's time we learned how to cuss. When we go back in the house for breakfast, I'll use the word hell and you can use the word ass.&quot; The four year old agreed and in the house they went. When their mom saw them she asked the 6 year old what he wanted for breakfast. He said, &quot;ah, hell Mom, I think I'll have Cheerios!!&quot; Whack!! She knocks him right off the chair and spanks his rear-end all the way up the stairs and says, &quot;and don't you come back down until I tell you.&quot; She goes back downstairs and looks at her 4 year old. &quot;And what would you like for breakfast young man??&quot; He, stutters and fusses and finally blurts out, &quot;well.......you can bet your fat ass it's not going to be Cheerios!!&quot; </span></span>

[Xplantdad]

Joe...LOL!

[Verne_Frantz]

<span style="color: #3366FF">A blond, a redhead and a brunette share the same office with their good looking female supervisor. One day the supervisor says she has to take the day off and wishes the 3 workers a productive day. The three all decide that if she’s gone, they might as well take the day off too and she’ll never know, so they all leave.
The next morning the three get together and ask each other what they did with their day. The brunette says she had her hair done and had a manicure and spent the day at the mall. The redhead says she went home and got caught up with all her gardening. When they asked the blond what she did, she said she went home and heard strange noises coming from the bedroom. She went back to look and saw their boss in bed with her husband. The other girls were shocked and asked, “what did you do??”. The blond replied, I got out of there as fast as I could. Thank God I didn’t get caught!”
</span>

[Xplantdad]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Verne_Frantz</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><span style="color: #3366FF">A blond, a redhead and a brunette share the same office with their good looking female supervisor. One day the supervisor says she has to take the day off and wishes the 3 workers a productive day. The three all decide that if she’s gone, they might as well take the day off too and she’ll never know, so they all leave.
The next morning the three get together and ask each other what they did with their day. The brunette says she had her hair done and had a manicure and spent the day at the mall. The redhead says she went home and got caught up with all her gardening. When they asked the blond what she did, she said she went home and heard strange noises coming from the bedroom. She went back to look and saw their boss in bed with her husband. The other girls were shocked and asked, “what did you do??”. The blond replied, I got out of there as fast as I could. Thank God I didn’t get caught!”
</span> </div></div>


LOL....Nice, Verne! [img]<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/headbang.gif[/img]

[Verne_Frantz]

When I was in high school and had a rock band I decided I wanted to spiff up my appearance a bit with a nice suit like some of the other band members in the late '60s. I asked an older gentleman for his advice as to the best place to get something nice. He told me to go to Coxs and get a Searsucker suit. It didn't work out so well because I misunderstood him and went to Sears!

Verne [img]<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/blush.gif[/img]

[earntaz]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Verne_Frantz</div><div class="ubbcode-body">When I was in high school and had a rock band I decided I wanted to spiff up my appearance a bit with a nice suit like some of the other band members in the late '60s. I asked an older gentleman for his advice as to the best place to get something nice. He told me to go to Coxs and get a Searsucker suit. It didn't work out so well because I misunderstood him and went to Sears!

Verne [img]<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/blush.gif[/img] </div></div>

OUCH!@#$

[whitetop]

A man was laying in bed with his wife one night and the &quot;urge&quot; came up out of nowhere . He asked his wife if she wanted to make out and she replied she could not because she already took a shower and had a OB/GYN appointment first thing in the morning.

The man pondered for a while and then said , &quot;You don't have a dentist appointment tomorrow also do ya?&quot;

[Xplantdad]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: whitetop</div><div class="ubbcode-body">A man was laying in bed with his wife one night and the &quot;urge&quot; came up out of nowhere . He asked his wife if she wanted to make out and she replied she could not because she already took a shower and had a OB/GYN appointment first thing in the morning.

The man pondered for a while and then said , &quot;You don't have a dentist appointment tomorrow also do ya?&quot;

</div></div>


[img]<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/shocked.gif[/img] [img]<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/grin.gif[/img]