Hollywood Squares

[Charley Lillard]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

FOR THOSE OF US WHO REMEMBER .............



Hollywood Squares:

These great questions & answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now.

Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course..

Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?

A. Paul Lynde (About fifteen minutes later): Lonelyness!

And the audience laughed for another 10 to 15 minutes.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.


Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q.. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

[Kim_Howie]

They don't get any better than this. Thanks Charley

[gb70]

I remember those bunch of characters. Looking back, is it me or does it seem like there were more alcohol abuse with the stars back then? I've watched some old episodes of The Tonight Show staring Johny Carson and though Johny always seemed fine a lot of his guest seemed lit.

Seems not that long ago we were watching these shows.

[Mr70]

Johnny was lit too,literally.
After his death from emphyesema,they released that during the majority of all his shows throughout all those years,he was puffing on coffin nails behind his desk inbetween commercial breaks.A few of the early B&W shows even show him casually doing it on camera with the guests,while the the later usually show a hint of smoke trailing upward in the back ground.
I still can't believe Johnny,HSQ & other great shows of that time & character are all gone today.
One of the best lines ever from Johnny..."OK,move the cat".

[Kim_Howie]

I think "move the dam cat" is what he said.

[gb70]

I remember when Dean Martin came on the Tonight Show with a cig in one hand and a cocktail in the other! Man, you don't see that anymore.

[nuch_ss396]

Dean Martin did everything that way. Those days are long gone!

[BJCHEV396]

Boy there was an all around great entertainer.Dean could act,sing,dance.He could do it all.I read that he really went down hill after his son Dino was killed piloting a jet,I think,for the National Guard.

[gb70]

Just saw an infomercial for Dean's Comedy Hour tapes for sale. Interviewing one of the guest years later she said that Dean did not go to rehearsals and that he often ad lived live.

I could not help but think the reason he did not show up for rehearsal is because he was too hung over to do it.

[BJCHEV396]

I think he liked the odd cocktail.And the even one's too!