[Schonyenko2]

cc/Albia police dept
Officer in charge
Please be advised that a gentleman known as Kim Howie was observed performing unsafe acts on the streets of Albia, on 7/14/ 08. He also may have been intoxicated, and may have been driving impared. Was also heard yelling something about"the damn thing runs" and threatening someone named Barnhart with "blowing his doors off". Please forward this to homeland security as it sounds like some kind of a terrorist threat.
Should you take Mr. Howie into custody, I would suggest a mental compatency evaluation, and a deep body cavity search by someone named Helga.
Should a gentleman named Cumby try to post his bail, I'd suggest you arrest him also, if for no other reason than just breathing.
Thank you for your attention, and help in keeping Albia, and America safe.
Sincerly, Ken L. Schoenthaler
Mayor of Donahue