Dallas ATC: "Tower to Saudi Air 911 -- You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R."
Saudi Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R - Allah be Praised."
Dallas ATC "Tower to Iran Air 711 -- You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R."
Iran Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R. - Allah is Great."
Pause: Static............
Saudi Air: "DALLAS ATC - DALLAS ATC"
Dallas ATC: "Go ahead Saudi Air 911?"
Saudi Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS. WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE.
INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE.
Dallas ATC: "Well bless your hearts. Y'all be careful now and tell Allah 'hey' for us -- ya hear?!"
Moral: DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS!