In The Headlines:
A wave of animal cruelty has the World Wildlife Federation up in
arms.
On the first day of this new year a lion was found viciously
mauled. Aweek later, a bengaled tiger was discovered horribly beaten.
While the lion only had fresh wounds, the tiger appears to have been
suffering
regular beatings for years.
Just seven days after that, a colt was found battered. People at
the scene said it kept muttering something about not getting enough
protection. Hours ago, Denver authorities found another horse,
this
time a bronco, wandering the streets. The horse was not
physically
injured, but quite dazed and confused. When asked about the
incident,
the hapless horse said "I was at home and everything was fine. I
was about to feed my pet snake when he started choking and screaming
about some sort of terrible towel following it around."
Rumor has it that the next target will be some sort of bird, a
seahawk.
All of the victims report trying to peek behind a giant steel
curtain shortly before their incidents. As a result, the following
warning has been issued to all animals: Peek behind a steel curtain or you
may get
hit by THE BUS.
Here we go Steelers, here we go!