Sniff…ah, memories, Phil
Phil and I go through recurrent training yearly where we go over emergency procedures when something goes wrong like wings falling and digesting the fish from the crew meal. Anywho, Phil,just happened to post a pic that was our evacuation checklist and we needed to know the actions by memory. You see the numbers, so let me explain the actions in the order of execution
1. Remove scratch paper with slandering drawing of chief pilot from clip holder
2. Discover “On Ground Emergency” checklist on yoke and proceed to run the checklist, but first…
3. Call Flight Attendant and notify them coffee is no longer needed
4. Realize the Captain is senior to you so move the trim wheel to make a noise which scares him and makes him forget the next steps of the checklist
5. Realize this panel was here all the time but not really sure what it was for
6. Grab window handle, pull straightward, the downside right to the back area, wait for click, the rotate frontwise.
7. If Captain is still in cockpit, tell him to grab the “auto exit” button on the window and verify incapacitation after he reacts to 400v AC shock from window heat connector.
8. Adjust lighting to see where yer’ goin’
9. Make sure light shines
10. punch all buttons on this panel hoping in panic mode you hit the PA
11. Verify this panel is in place for some reason
12. Announce evacuation, “Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain. We know you have a choice in airlines, and today it looks like you chose the wrong one. EVACUATE!!! Thanks for flying with and i wish you a pleasant onward journey.”
13. Verify maintained test only panel isn’t in “test” mode creating evacuation
14. Stow tray table to the most upright and stowed position
15. Check adult magazine holder and grab 1976 Edition of “Jugs” and take with. Can’t leave evidence around.
There you have it. Miss flying with ya Phil!!
Cheers
Dave