Poor Joe Green. He made some very bad investments using borrowed money. When the bill came due he didn't have it. So they took his house. His wife was so angry she divorced him. He was fired from his job. He wound up on Skid Row.
Some time later, huddling under his cardboard abode, he hears a knocking sound. He sticks his head out and there stands a well dressed man holding a briefcase. "I used to dress like that."
"Are you Joe Green?"
"Yes I am, who are you?
" I am the lawyer for your Uncle Henry's Estate. He left you $500 in his will" and proceeds to hand Joe five crisp one hundred dollar bills.
Joe is flabbergasted! It has been quite some time since he's held that much cash in his hands. "What shall I do with it?"
So he starts to think. Maybe blow it on a booze party with his buddies. But he can't get the rid of his minds eye image of the lawyer. "I know! I'll buy a new suit."
So he goes two block over to Canal street where the tailors do business, walks in and proclaims; "I am here to buy a $500 suit" and throws down the cash to show he is serious. The head taylor looks at him and tells him, maybe he should spend a little of the money and get a shower, haircut and shave. Then come back to get measured. It will take less than a day to cut his new suit. So off he goes and returns two hours later looking human again. "Much better, now lets get you measured." It's now 11 AM. "Come back at 5PM, your suit will be ready.
Joe is so excited. He looks like a successful person and once again dresses like one. Let's see what his buddies think of him now.
"Hey Jimmy, how do you like my $500 suit?" Wow Joe that looks great on you. But I see your right pants leg is a little longer than the left, so if you just bend over a bit and grab the material on your thigh and pull it up - that's it! Now they match."
OK - no big deal, the tailor can fix it tomorrow. A lttile further he runs into Sammy. "Hey Sammy - it's my new $500 suit!." Holy cow Joe that looks fantastic but it looks like the shoulders aren't evenly hanging down your arms. Why don't you tilt to the right - that it's - much better."
Now Joe is pissed, the pants aren't even, one shoulder is higher than the other. "Cripes, I must look like Quasimoto from the Hunchback of Notre Dame." Right back to the tailor first thing in the moring.
As Joe is hobbling down the street he passes two Nuns. One turns to the other; " that poor cripple." And the other one says "but oh how his suit fit!
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