[markinnaples]

Car related (because if I had to put the real dumb stuff, I'd have to include my 2nd wife):
1. Locked the keys in our 74 Cutlass. In the rain. Running. In the middle of the street. (good thing I was good at the wire hangar trick)
2. Backed my sister's car up the driveway with the driver's door open (didn't realize I was that close to my dad's car so that my door was bent backwards, ugh)
3. Instead of washer fluid, put gas in my gf's windshield washer tank (someone else put the funky colored gas in the washer fluid bottle, not me)
4. After a night out, came up a winding hill and when I crested it, got airborn and slammed my 85 528 into the guardrail, bending it in half. (thank God for the guardrail and those giant Nazi bumpers, otherwise it was a 30 foot drop)
5. After the Christmas party and then leaving a buddy's house, lit 'em up pulling out of the street and when my 78 T/A continued sideways about 50 ft until I got traction and firmly planted it into a sizable tree stopping me from a 20 ft drop into someone's backyard. (my dad bought the story about someone hit-and-running my T/A until the next afternoon when he was picking bark out of what was leftover of the grill - but he was cool as heck about everything and I sure do miss him now that he's gone)

I could go on, but you only said five...