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427TJ 10-28-2007 06:28 AM

Two quick blonde jokes
 
From my blonde older sister.

Joke 1
Q: How is a blonde like a 747???
A: They both have black boxes.

Joke 2
Q: How is a blonde different than a 747???
A: Not everyone has been in a 747.

Nova Jed 10-28-2007 06:30 PM

Re: Two quick blonde jokes
 
GOOD ONE!

wheelhop 10-28-2007 07:04 PM

Re: Two quick blonde jokes
 
What's the difference between a dumb blonde and a washing machine?

You can dump a few loads in a washing machine and it won't follow you around for a week.

VintageMusclecar 10-28-2007 07:40 PM

Re: Two quick blonde jokes
 
Nevermind, I ain't gonna go there lol.

x Baldwin Motion 10-28-2007 08:54 PM

Re: Two quick blonde jokes
 
I would normally send all those blond jokes to my twin blond daughters, but I'll pass on those https://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/no.gif

sixbrl440 10-28-2007 09:26 PM

Re: Two quick blonde jokes
 
Here's one you can pass along:

What do you call an intelligent blonde?









...Golden Retriever! http://board.moparts.org/ubbthreads/...ns/biggrin.gif


http://www.tropicokennels.com/HomePa1.jpg

SS427 10-28-2007 10:32 PM

Re: Two quick blonde jokes
 
What do you call a dumb blonde with two brain cells............?

Pregnant.

x Baldwin Motion 10-28-2007 10:51 PM

Re: Two quick blonde jokes
 
Perfect for one of my daughters !! https://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/imag...iggthumpup.gif I should be a G-Pop in May!

rafbody 10-29-2007 07:32 PM

Re: Two quick blonde jokes
 
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, Double-pane energy-efficient kind. Yesterday, I got a call from the Contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the windows had
been installed a whole year ago and I had never paid for them yet. Hellloooo? Now just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So I told him just exactly what his fast-talking sales guy had told ME last year ... namely, that in just ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves!

"Helllooooo"? (I told him). "It's been a year"!

There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up.... He hasn't called back, probably too embarrassed about forgetting the guarantee they made me. Bet he won't underestimate a blonde anymore

HEMIBEE 10-30-2007 07:37 PM

Re: Two quick blonde jokes
 
you know why blonde girls prefer converts?????????




extra leg room!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fastbowtie 10-30-2007 07:53 PM

Re: Two quick blonde jokes
 
The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway just jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping for joy but I thought, what the heck, and I starting jumping up and down along with her.

She said, " I have some really great news!"

I said, "Great. Tell me why you're so happy."
She stopped jumping and, breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant!

I knew that she had been trying for a while so I told her,
"That's great! I couldn't be happier for you!"
Then she said, "There's more."

I asked, "What do you mean 'more'?"

She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!"
Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew. She said....

(You're going to love this!)
"Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a twin-pack. Both tests came out positive!

SSJunkie68-69 10-30-2007 10:36 PM

Re: and now for the blonde nun joke.......
 
A cabbie picks up a Blonde Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring.

He replies. "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you"

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see
and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!

"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

But when they got back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child," said the nun, why are you crying?"

"Forgive me but I've sinned.
I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says,
"That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween Party."

Lynn 10-31-2007 01:28 AM

Re: and now for the blonde nun joke.......
 
I apologize if I have told this one before. This isn’t a joke. It really happened. I have twin cousins about the same age as me, both girls, and yes they are blonde.

A few years ago I went to Mary’s (name changed to protect the guilty) and her husband’s very nice home for a holiday get together. I parked in the drive, and being it was such a nice neighborhood, I just left my keys on the floor. Later my daughter went out to the car to get something. Not realizing I had left the keys on the front floor, she locked the car from the back seat.

So... a few hours later, we realize what had happened. I ask for a screwdriver, a flashlight and a wire hanger. Begin the task of breaking into the car. It was a little chilly and of course, being in Oklahoma, windy. Mary is behind me while I (dressed in a short sleeve shirt, and shivering just a bit) am trying to catch the door lock knob just right. In all earnestness she says: “Lynn, wouldn’t you be a lot warmer if we pulled the car in the garage so you could do this inside?”

Blond moment.

Mr70 10-31-2007 04:34 AM

Re: and now for the blonde nun joke.......
 
I think I know her. https://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/imag...mlins/wink.gif

427TJ 10-31-2007 04:58 AM

Re: and now for the blonde nun joke.......
 
[ QUOTE ]
"Forgive me but I've sinned.
I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says,
"That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween Party."

[/ QUOTE ]

https://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/imag...mlins/haha.gif https://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/imag...mlins/haha.gif https://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/imag...mlins/haha.gif https://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/imag...mlins/haha.gif


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