That's for darn sure. Maybe this genius can handle spell check for them.

A TV weatherman was a notorious speeder. On a recent occasion he was stopped for excessive speed and ordered to appear in court.
The judge advised him that this would be the last time he would get away with just a ticket and if there was a further incident he would serve jail time.
The weatherman protested with this news and the judge said;
Let me put it in words you will comprehend,
“Fine today, cooler tomorrow”.

I Think You're The Father of One of My Kids...'
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a very attractive woman waving at him.
She says, 'Hello.'
He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he asks, 'Do you know me?'
To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife.
So he asks, 'Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table, with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?'

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No, I'm your son's teacher.'

A group of 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack, (Churchill Downs ) to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry (Bourbon), but mostly to see the horses.

When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.

The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.

Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one, holding on to their little 'wee-wees' to direct the flow away from their clothes.

As she lifted one little guy, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, "You must be in the 5th grade.”

"No ma'am he replied, "I'm riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race, but I appreciate your help."

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