From a Texas restaurant.........

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Yup.

My top 3 assumptions when doorbell rings:
1. Murderer.
2. Police telling me everyone is dead.
3. That book I ordered about positive thinking.

„911, What’s your emergency?“
I just got robbed at the Shell gas station!
911, Do you know who did it?
Yeah, pump #8!

I learned how to fix that years ago. Just cut it in the middle and weld a 1" extension in between....you'll be fine....:headbang:

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Hope they got his plate number.

It's personalized...
MOONSHINE
:grin:

Suppose that's where Rowling got the idea for the Whompin Willow ???
Gum tree in Australia and the Falcon is even right hand drive.

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Is that a Stage 3 hush kit installed too, Mikey?:3gears:

Cheers
Dave

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JEFF GORDON FIRES PIT CREW


Jeff Gordon announced today that he was firing his entire pit crew. This announcement followed Gordon's decision to take advantage of President Biden’s scheme to employ
Harlem youngsters. The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Harlem were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Gordon's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with thousands of dollars worth of high tech equipment.

It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Gordon's management team, as most races are won or lost in the pits, however, Gordon got more than he bargained for.
At the crew's first practice session, not only was the inexperienced crew able to change all 4 wheels in less than 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had changed the paint scheme, altered the VIN number, and sold the car to Dale Earnhardt Jr. for 10 cases of Bud.

Well, I got my first shot today, it wasn't too bad at all.
In fact it, it was so easy I decided to get my second shot today as well.

........as soon as the bartender gets back.

That must be Martin Molin's bathroom...:headbang:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvUU8joBb1Q

Leaving the Store, I couldn't find my Keys. They weren't in my pockets. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My husband has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car's ignition. He's afraid that the car could be stolen.
As I looked around the parking lot, I realized he was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police. I gav...e them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.
Then, I made the most difficult call of all to my husband: "I left my keys in the car and it's been stolen."
There was a moment of silence. I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard his voice. "Are you kidding me?" he barked, "I dropped you off!"
Now it was my turn to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."
He retorted, "I will; just as soon as I convince this cop that I didn't steal your damn car!"
Welcome to the golden years...

Guy picks up a genie bottle on the beach. Rubs it… sure enough a genie pops out.

“I will grant you any wish you want” says the genie.

Man: “Don’t I get three wishes?”

Genie: “No: that’s just in Hollywood. One wish.”

“Well, then, I have always wanted to go to Hawaii, but am deathly afraid of planes and boats. So, I want a highway from LA to Hawaii.”

Genie: “A highway to Hawaii??? You have got to be freakin kidding me. Do you have any idea of the logistics involved? What about shipping lanes? Is there anything else I can give you instead?”

Man: “OK, I will let you off the hook if you can tell me how a woman’s mind works.”

Genie: “Two lane or four?”

https://www.yenko.net/forum/cache.ph...%3Bcrop%3Dfill :biggthumpup:

Classic Cars...
 

Got this today from one my cronies...

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