.

An elderly couple, Roy and Bessie, recently moved to Texas. Roy had always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them and wears them home. Walking proudly into the house, he says to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"
Bessie looks him over, "Nope."
Frustrated, Roy storms off to the bathroom, undresses and walks back into the room completely naked except for his boots. Again he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different now??"
Bessie looks up and says, "Roy, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down tomorrow."
Furious Roy, yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT IS HANGING DOWN, BESSIE? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKIN AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!!
To which Bessie replies....."shoulda bought a hat Roy, shoulda bought a hat!"

,,,,,

...........

.

Whoa, he must have had the biggest pay check...:wink:

:tongue:

A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter’s birthday and he hadn’t bought her a present.
He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager,
“How much is that new Barbie in the window?”
The Manager replied, “Which one? We have
‘Barbie goes to the gym’ for $19.95,
‘Barbie goes to the Ball’ for $19.95,
‘Barbie goes shopping’ for $19.95,
‘Barbie goes to the beach’ for $19.95,
‘Barbie goes to the Nightclub’ for $19.95 and
‘Divorced Barbie’ for $375.00”
“Why is the Divorced Barbie $375.00 when all the others are $19.95?, the father asked.
The store manager replied:


“Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s car, Ken’s house, Ken’s boat, Ken’s dog, Ken’s cat, Ken’s furniture and all of Ken’s savings.”
Mmm… Barbie Isn’t That Stupid After All…

:crazy:

......

A girl was a prostitute, but she did not want her grandma to know.
One day the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel and she was among them.
The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway.
Suddenly the girl's grandma came by and saw her. "Why are you standing in line, dear?" she asked.
Not willing to let her grandma know the truth, the girl told her that the policemen were passing out free oranges.
"Why, that is awfully nice of them! I think I'll get some for myself," said the grandma.
A policeman went down the line, asking for information from all of the prostitutes.
When he got to Grandma, he exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?"
Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take out my dentures and suck them dry!"

There is an overweight guy who is watching TV. A commercial comes on for a guaranteed weight loss of 10 pounds in a week. So the guy, thinking what the hell, signs up for it. Next morning an incredibly beautiful woman is standing at his door in nothing but a pair of running shoes and a sign about her neck that reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." As soon as he sees her, she takes off running. He tries to catch her, but is unable. This continues for a week, at the end of which, the man has lost 10 pounds. After this he tries the next weight loss plan, 15 pounds in a week. The next morning an even more beautiful woman is standing at the door, in similar conditions. The same happens with her as the first woman, except he almost catches her. This continues for a week, at the end of which he, as suspected, weighs 15 pounds less. Excited about this success, he decides to do the master program. Before he signs up, he is required to sign a waiver and is warned about the intensity of this plan. Still he signs up. The next morning, waiting at the door, is a hulking 300 pound muscle man with nothing but a pair of running shoes, a raging erection, and a sign around his neck that says, "If I catch you, you're mine!" The man was supposed to lose 25 pounds in the week; he lost 34.

......

1.Be old
2 Sit in a chair


Alright, you been talking to my wife ???

,

:grin:

.......

.

These guys were instrumental in my childhood upbringing, Mom would get pissed when my brother and me did or three stooges act

From a buddy, his daughter went on Amazon to search trans am gifs for Christmas, this came up, I always knew those Smokey and the bandit guys were strange, Lol

Lol..

You what's really scary about that ? The cross dresser parts have 184 reviews...:shocked:

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, 'And you are no
good in bed either,' and storms out of the house.

After some time he realizes he was nasty and
decides to make amends and rings her up.

She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, '
What took you so long to answer to the phone?'
She says, 'I was in bed.'

'In bed this early, doing what?'

'Getting a second opinion!'

Dreamsickle, love them

:eek2:

.....

Home Brewed Humor...
 

.

....How did they like your Prius at the car show ?

Your done Bill....:grin:

That's about right
 

Everett posted this pic over on Camaros.net