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😂
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Can’t be too safe.
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Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:
Dear Granddaughter, The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a ‘Honk if you love Jesus’ bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did! What an uplifting experience followed. I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn’t honked, I’d never have noticed. I found that lots of people love Jesus! While I was sitting there, the guy behind me started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, ‘For the love of God!’ ‘Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!’ What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach. I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back. My grandson burst out laughing. Why even he was enjoying this religious experience! A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but I noticed the light had changed. So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters and drove on through the intersection. I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared. So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks! Will write again soon. Love, Grandma |
I always try to be patient with elderly drivers, knowing that I am headed in that direction faster than I want to admit.
My mom will by 91 this month. We finally took her keys away a week and a half ago. She is taking it pretty well. No joke here. Sorry to crap on this thread. It is one of my favorites. |
I guess the joke is they were still driving around, my mom backed into my house, the neighbors car, then got into it with a cop. Then it was gone. At 85. Lol
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I teach, and I often use the "Joy to have in class" comment on grade reports that go home to parents. Most of my students are great, but I still bet there are plenty of parents rolling their eyes when they read it.
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Lol
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The floor jack one is so true.
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Guess we missed Cinco de Mayo
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No Cinco de Mayo this year. What a shame.
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Additional features keeps the carbs out can power up to 5 ventilators |
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The last five posts are by Charley. They all look the same.
No text or pic. Is it pornographic, and I have to verify I am over 18? Did I not sign up for the secret decoder ring? I quit eating Cracker Jack years ago, so if it came in one of those boxes, I would have missed it. What's up? Here is what the screen looks like for those posts. |
I see it and I’m laughing. Good stuff.
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I’m a Paid Yenko Joke Member. I guess it’s new. |
How to get to Heaven from Ireland
A true Story from an Irish Sunday School Teacher. I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. 'I asked them, ' If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?' 'NO!' the children answered. 'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?' Again, the answer was 'NO!' 'If I gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?' Again, they all answered 'NO!' I was just bursting with pride for them. I continued, 'Then how can I get into heaven?' A little boy shouted out: 'YUV GOTTA BE FOOKN' DEAD.' It's a curious race, the Irish. Brings a tear to the eye, doesn't it? |
If you send him a free nOS part once in a while, you also get to see the secret Yenko Gold board.
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Good one TAZ!!!
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A man with two buckets of fish was leaving boca chica beach well known for its fishing and was stopped by a game warden. The warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish." "Pet fish?!" the warden replied. "Yes, sir. Every night I take these fish down to this beach and let them swim around for about a half-hour, When I whistle, they all come back, jump back into my buckets, and I take 'em home. We do this every night." "That's a bunch of BS," said the warden. "Fish can't do that!" "No, really! says the man. "Here, I'll show you." And he releases the fish in the ocean. "Well, I've GOT to see this!" the game warden replied. The man and the warden stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, "Well?" "Well, what?" the man asked. "When are you going to call them back?" the game warden huffs. "Call who back?" the man asked. "The FISH." "What fish?" |
Q: What was the elephant doing on the freeway?
A: About 5 mph Q: How do you get an elephant up a tree? A: Plant an acorn. Have the elephant stand on top of where you planted it. Wait 50 years. Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance? A: “Look, a herd of elephants in the distance” Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses A: Nothing. He doesn’t recognize them. Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in the distance? A: “Haha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!” Q. What is big, grey and has a lot of red bumps? A. An elephant that was stung by a lot of bees! Q. Why couldn’t the two elephants go swimming together? A. Because they only had one pair of trunks! Q. How do you know an elephant is under your blanket? A. Because when you get in your bed your nose touches the ceiling. Q. What do you get when an elephant sky dives? A. A big hole. and there are many many more. Elephant jokes are so stupid they never fail to crack me up. |
Why do elephants wear red tennis shoes?
So they can hide in the strawberry patch. Why do elephants wear green tennis shoes? Red ones are in the wash. |
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:haha:
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